Insight of the Week: It’s Just Forgiveness

There have been many definitions and interpretations about “forgiveness” through time.  It has become such an emotionally charged word and concept as humanity has struggled to apply it individually and collectively.  However, it must first be understood and applied personally for it to ripple out collectively.

So, what is forgiveness really? Defined in the dictionary it states: “to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.”  What’s interesting to note here is that through various interpretations, both secular and non-secular, forgiveness has been given to incorporate many other things.  Many a times people refuse to forgive because they feel it is a sign of weakness or that by forgiving another’s hurtful action they are somehow condoning the behavior thus allowing it to continue (this is actually a boundary issue).  In other instances, forgiveness is felt to be a moral or religious imperative thus rendering the offended with the feeling that their hurt or pain was somehow invalid or insignificant. Still others feel that forgiveness is not necessary or possible, thereby burying their feelings only to have them resurface later in life when a trigger presents itself.

But quite simply, forgiveness is something we do for ourselves.  In holding onto anger, resentment, pain or hurt we continue to stay in a loop of negativity that does not allow us to move forward.  It hinders us in gravitating the positive emotions and experiences we desire to have in our life. This applies to forgiveness of self as well as others.  Forgiveness equals freedom. When we let go of the negative emotions we free ourselves internally…we literally free up brain space in which something new can enter, our nervous system is alleviated, our hearts filled with peace instead of internal conflict.  To let go in forgiveness is not an easy task; it takes courage and strength to move beyond the human pride and ego.  It takes awareness, radical honesty, responsibility, and accountability. True forgiveness of self is the most challenging and the type of forgiveness most of us practice the least. However, it allows for the releasing of any guilt we are holding onto no matter how deep seated.  It is the road to true internal freedom which then ripples outward changing your own life, then those of others.