Insight of the Week: True Connection and the State of Happiness

If you took a poll and asked people what is it you desire the most, the number one answer would be “happiness.”  And what does it mean to be happy? The responses you would receive would be as individual as we are.

When we move past the more common responses …a better job, bigger home, more money. to travel, a loving relationship et al…we would begin to see a shift by the 20^th or 30^th response, in that the answers would emerge from a deeper inner longing and place within you.  They would reflect deeply held desires that often remain hidden. The bottom part of our “to be happy” list would read as: “to be seen, to be heard, to be accepted as we are without judgement, to be honored and cherished, to be loved despite our shortcomings.”

In truth, we are yearning to be perceived by ourselves and by others in this way – in short, we are yearning for “true connection”.  To connect in a way that allows us to be who we are, as we are… not who someone else wants us to be and not who we think we should be.

However, most of us find true connection a challenging place to be because it requires radical honesty, openness, vulnerability, and unconditional love.  Most people feel unprotected and defenseless in this state. But allowing your defenses to fall will lead you to the happiness you seek.  How so? Because, in order to stand in this way with someone else requires that you stand in this way with yourself first. What you are really yearning for is that true connection with that part of yourself that accepts you, forgives you, loves you unconditionally.  If we are all one, then what you are looking for from others is what you are in essence looking for from yourself.  You cannot ultimately receive from someone else what you are unwilling to give to yourself first.

True happiness begins from this inner process of true connection to self. It brings the deep fulfillment, joy, contentment, and inner peace that the soul seeks.  Everything external is simply an outer manifestation of this inner state. Take a moment, sit with yourself and dare to truly perceive yourself as you wish to be seen. Alter your inner dialogue to one of love, compassion, and forgiveness toward yourself…then observe how your life begins to change.