Insight of the Week: Value…In or Out?

Our western culture has conditioned us to believe that value comes from “outside” of ourselves.  From our job title, societal position, the amount of money we earn,  the type of car we drive, the house we live in, where we eat, what clothes we wear, the friends, lovers or spouse we have and of course, our physical appearance.  It says: the more (or “better”) we have, the more value we have. What happens when any one or two or all, of these things disappear from our lives? Do feelings of worthlessness and insecurity spring up? Does a sense of failure or not being good enough make its way to the surface?  Does depression creep in? More often, than not, the answer to these questions is yes, simply because we are assigning value to what we do and what we have as opposed to who we are. When you derive your value from outside of yourself you give your power away and will always be at the mercy of exterior happenings and other people, and your life will be an endless emotional roller coaster,.

The inherent gift in having any one of these things stripped away is that we are left with our raw selves.  It allows us to ask and examine – who I am without the job, clothes, car, title, spouse, or good looks? Who are you, indeed?  Answering this question allows you to really look at “you”.  It allows you to become aware of your character traits and behaviors, your beliefs and perceptions.  It is not work for the faint of heart because sometimes we might not like what we see.  Make a list – use words such as integrity, honesty, dignity, loyalty, respect, kindness, empathy, compassion, self-love, in addition to your personality words (funny, smart, outgoing etc). For e.g. are you an honest and loyal friend? Do you conduct your life with integrity? Do you treat others with respect? And so on.

When you’re done look deeper, at your core. What is your source for life and breath? When you become radically aware that you are a spiritual being having a temporary physical existence you will realize that your value is inherent.  You don’t have to do anything, obtain anything or look outside of yourself, to acquire it.  It simply exists and your work is to align with this knowing. You are already complete and whole. This knowing only comes from within the self, no-one can give it to you.  Those around us merely serve as mirrors.  If you don’t like the reflection, then you know you have work to do (use your list!). This is the way to growth and expansion and ultimately a happier life.  When you align within so then without.